Just when you thought it was safe to be in a relationship....

Well, crazy, but the girlfriend I referred to as practically perfect has gotten some sort of stupid flu. The most severe case possible, Im afraid. After nearly 4 years, she decided she needed a few days alone. Ok. Its rough, I miss her, but I understand. Flash forward 6 days. She's still not coming home, but does drop by almost daily to pick up A shirt or A pair of pants. Doesnt take the toothbrush. Nothing like that. Just little things here and there. Im am too irratated to go into this novel length story, but belive me, the 6 days were full of ups and downs. STILL, I never thought we would break up. Then came wenesday. My friend says "Drew, (my g/f's dopey best friend) came over at 4 am last night crying about how (ok wait, not her real name.... and I cant defame Clea DuVall here so....um... we'll call her Miss Evil. Yes, that seems appropriate. Anyway.....) crying about how Miss Evil is always with her new g/f and he never sees her anymore." Ok wait. Considering Miss Evil told me she was staying with Drew the whole time, including just the day before, this hits me on several unpleasant levels. In order to not make this the longest blog in history I'm skipping about 90% of what happened. Nut shell, that day I ask her if she's cheating on me. "No." Mhmmm. I ask several more times cuz I know too much about this situation than to just believe her. Finally I get that they kissed and have been sleeping in the same bed. Well... I dont know about everyone else, or say, the universal rule, but in my book thats called cheating. Not in Miss Evil's book. Oh no. "Its not like that." Theyre "just friends". Blah blah on and on. Whatever. I break up. Something I would have never even expected myself to do the very day before. So now, its the following tuesday and you wouldnt believe the adventures that have filled this last week. The topper? Yesterday she wants to come get more of her stuff, AGAIN... for the 50th time, because it is obviously impossible for her to just get her stuff and get out. I tell her fine, were going to descuss bills, yada, yada. My only stipulation is come by yourself. Things will be much more pleasant that way. Ok? Ok. She comes. Its not alone. No. Its with some fat girl with bleached blond hair, a giant head, and fish eyeballs. Im assuming this was Miss' "kissing in bed but not cheating". I am right. I throw all Miss Evil's things out the door and at the fat girl in the jeep. Which might mean she doesnt have fish eyeballs, but rather was just frightened by the hail storm of clothes coming right at her. More drama ensues. I tell Miss Evil in some not very nice words to get that girl out of my sight NOW. That is the extremely edited version. She does. Blah. Skipping ahead over about 50% more drama. So Miss Evil's aquaintance, we'll call them, comes running at me in the WalMart parking lot yesterday. She's very nice and full of the appropriate "sorrys" and "thats sooo wrong and sucks" type comfort. Then she informs me that Miss Evil has been practically having a nervous breakdown. "Tripping out", constantly missing collge classes (where she met the fat girl), and that she is going through some really weird thing right now. She's really messed up. Um....well good! But then comes the reddest cherry in the existance of man to top that cake, Miss fat girl is married with 2 kids! Miss Evil was staying with her and her HUSBAND! Ok now that is just a whole new level of tacky and stupid. So anyway, Miss Evil STILL refuses to admit she cheated. Now her story has changed to "she slept on the couch". Ok. On top of, or under the fat fish girl? Hmmmm. Oh well, who knows where things will go from here. I still have to talk to her 25 more times about bills, her stuff, and whatever else she can come up with. Lame. Guess thats all for now.